Looking Forward to a Sunny Vacation
The weather forecast is for snow but in a few days, I’ll be packing my suitcase with shorts, bathing suit and snorkeling mask and take the evening flight to the sunny Cook Islands. My kids are grown up and out of the home, my parents are able to take care of themselves and my neighbor will take care of my cat. I have no worries on my mind!
But what if I was the main, supportive caregiver for my aging parents? What if I was the only one who took them grocery shopping or cooked their meals? What if I was the only one to drive them to their doctor appointment or set up their medications in the pill box every week? What if I was the only person who checked in on them on a daily basis, was their only “life line” for emergencies?
Looking forward to a sunny vacation
Could I leave for two weeks without stressing over how they could get by without my help? Or would I have to put my life on hold and never leave town, even for a weekend?
Putting Your Life on Hold
When Susanna showed clear signs of dementia, her daughter, Sheri, knew it was time to move her mom from the independent senior community she lived in for the last five years. “I couldn’t see my mom going into memory care and the perfect solution was sitting right outside my door,” said Sheri when she called for my help.
Sherri and her husband had a small one-bedroom house in their backyard and it was the perfect place for Susanna. She had her own private space and her daughter, who was literally just a few steps away, provided all the support she needed. Sheri brought home cooked meals, set a pill box for her mom’s medications and checked on her several times every day. As her mom’s dementia continued to progress and she had several falls, Sheri installed cameras in the house, which allowed her to see if her mom needed, help even if she didn’t call for help or if Sheri was away from home.
It was a perfect solution that allowed Susanna to stay at home with the support of her daughter.
Two years passed by, but now, Susanna needed help with daily dressing. She wouldn’t eat unless someone was sitting with her to remind her to eat, and she couldn’t remember to take her medications on time. It was clear that Sheri was now a full-time caregiver for her mom, which had her tied to her home with very few breaks.
Who will care for my loved one when I am away on vacation?
It was only when Sheri’s husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer that she realized she had put her own life on hold for the last two years. She hadn’t been on vacation for two years and with the possible change in her husband’s health, realized it was time to take care of her and her husband’s needs as well. A long overdue vacation was what they needed right now, and this is when they called for my help. Sheri and her husband planned a three-week vacation and they needed to figure out what to do about Susanna’s care.
Caregiving Options
There are several options or solutions that can be implemented, either independently or in combination.
Hired Help:The number of hours needed for hired help depends on the person’s care needs, their independence and ability to stay at home for stretches of time by themselves without the risk of falling, wandering or being unable to call for help.
You can hire a live-in, 24/7 caregiver or, alternatively, caregivers with overlapping shifts, through an in-home care agency. A 24/7 caregiver can be expensive, but if you need to cover a short vacation, such as a weekend, it can be affordable at an average of $600-700 a day. However, for a longer length of time - just do the math - it can be very expensive.
Family’s Help: It is possible that there are one or more family members who could help while you’re gone. You may ask an out-of-town sibling to share the load by coming to stay with dad or mom for a week, since you are the one who takes care of the parent year-round.If you have family members who can provide intermediate help, you may combine it with paid caregiver hours.
Respite Care: There are many assisted living and memory care communities that would provide up to 30 days respite care without needing to pay the full cost of moving in. However, most of them usually have two weeks minimum, so it may not be a perfect solution if you are only gone for the weekend. The pay is per day and ranges between $200 to $250 a day.
Respite care can be a good solution for any time you feel you need a little break, whether you’re away or just taking time off at your home.
The staff at the senior care community will remember to celebrate your loved one’s birthday
Moving to a Senior Care Community: When Sheri called me, she said that she and her husband planned to go on vacation within a month and are already planning the following vacation, three months later. This plan was based on the fact that her husband would start cancer treatment in a few months and they wanted to go on vacation before the effects of his treatment limited his travel.
Planning for the Next Vacation
This is when I started the conversation by asking Sheri, “Do you think it’s time to look for a long-term care solution for your mom so you can have the time and the space to enjoy your life?”It was not an easy question to answer. Deep down in her heart, Sheri knew that the day would come when her mom needed to move to a memory care facility. It was this question that caused her to stop and realize how much time she put into caring for her mom and that, indeed, her life was on hold for the last two years.
We talked about the many ways you can take care of a loved one, and the fact that the solution of memory care is one way to do so. Moving her mom from her home didn’t mean she is no longer involved in her care or that she has no say about her care. It simply means that she doesn’t need to do it as a full-time job all by herself.
Following our conversation, Sheri decided to ask for the family’s help in combination with a few hours of daily hired help to cover her absence during the upcoming vacation. She also came to the realization that it is time to get ready for the next vacation, and others that would follow. She asked that we tour together a few memory care communities that I recommended as a good fit for her mom’s care needs and personality.
The Support that is Available to You
Sheri carried the heavy load of caring for her mom all by herself for two years, but by asking for an expert’s advice, she took a big step in the right direction.
Whether you need help figuring out the best way to care for your loved one at home without putting your own life on hold, or you need help finding the right senior care community for your loved one, there is no reason you should do this on your own.
We offer expert advice for you and your loved one. We are only one phone call away, ready to listen to your challenges and help find the right solutions to fit you.